It's a Girl!

It's been more than two years since we started the adoption process. But Friday night, we finally got the call we've been waiting for. We were matched with our daughter!

Let me back up...so lately, I've been really down about the adoption process. When we started, we never imagined it would take this long. When we got on the waiting list, we were told to expect a referral in 4-7 months...then it was 6-9 months...then 9-12 months...and yet, Christmas came and went, along with our 1-year anniversary on the waiting list...no referral. 

Friday night, I was chatting on Facebook with another mom from our agency. She said, "Did you see Lesley's [from our agency's affiliate] post about what a great day it was at work? And there's more good news to come?" I hadn't seen that, but I honestly thought, "Oh, girl, don't get too excited. You're reading too much into it." 

Maybe 30 minutes later, I was getting Hudson out of the bath and opened the door to find Bob looking very serious, phone to his ear, motioning for me to come over. He gave Hudson a sucker (to keep him distracted so we could talk on the phone in peace) right before bedtime, but before I could argue, I realized something must be going on. Bob finally set the phone on the counter, put it on speaker, and I realized it was our agency. I began sobbing--out of relief, out of excitement, out of pure happiness.

Our case worker told us about the process and what to expect from this point. And then, finally, she told us about our girl. She told us her name (which I love)...she is 4 months old, healthy, and "she's a cutie!" 

Then Bob and I opened our email to see the most precious little girl in the world. Instantly, we knew she was meant to be ours. I just kept saying, "That's our girl. That's our girl!"

The rest of the night was a blur of tears of joy and "I can't believe how cute she is!" Over the weekend, we shared the news with our friends and family. Their excitement and support was overwhelming.

So now, the hard part. We wait for a court date (which could be 1-3 months from now) before we can finally meet her. Then, we'll return home until the US government can approve the adoption. Finally, in late spring or early summer, we'll bring her home...forever.

It's surreal to realize we have a daughter...and she lives half way around the world...and she doesn't know us yet...and we already love her so much after just seeing her picture.
As for the wait I had been complaining about? Thank God it took so long. I can't imagine being matched with any other girl. I don't know what we did in this life to deserve her, but she was worth every second of the wait (so far and yet to come).
And I can't wait to show off her picture (after she is legally ours).

Songs About Adoption

I thought I had outgrown the days when songs really spoke to my heart. You know, like in high school after a break-up and you would hear a song (that may or may not have had anything to do with the situation) and declare, "OH, this is my SONG!"

But I haven't outgrown that. It seems half the songs I hear lately make me think of adoption. And while some are sad and others are upbeat, they do seem to help me get through the wait.

So here is a rather long list of songs about adoption, songs about parenthood, and songs that probably have nothing to do with either, but they speak to my heart right now.

Songs about Adoption

Gave Me a Home by Josh Bronleewe

Orphan Lullaby by Lindsay Teefey

One Less by Matthew West

Songs That Are Probably Not About Adoption, but They Make Me Think of it Anyway

A Thousand Years by Christina Perri

Sooner or Later by Mat Kearney

Count on Me by Mat Kearney

I Will Wait by Mumford and Sons

The Promise by Tracy Chapman

Songs about Parenthood

Daughter by Loudon Wainwright III

Father and Daughter by Paul Simon

Daddy’s Little Girl by Michael Buble

Still Fighting It by Ben Folds

Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars

Lullaby by Dixie Chicks

Godspeed by the Dixie Chicks

Gracie by Ben Folds

Instrumental Songs that are Great for Slideshows

Beautiful Day by Vitamin String Quartet

Yellow by Vitamin String Quartet

Cello Song by The Cello Guys

Going Away (again)

(I originally posted this on Give1Save1.com.) 

Farewell

Over the last nine months, I have been involved in one of the greatest blessings of my life. I have worked behind the scenes and as a blogger for Give1Save1, helping dozens of families offset the immense costs of providing homes and new futures to orphans around the world.

But I’ve decided to take a leave of absence from my post on Give1 to tackle some other projects. And in leaving, I have a shameless request. I want a going away present. And not just any going away present…I want you to give me about $13,000 in support of my adoption…in fact, I want you to give every American adopting that much, too. 

“What did she just say?” Yep. I’m serious.

What You Can Do for Orphans 

I want you to help pass the Adoption Tax Credit. When my husband and I first considered adoption, the Adoption Tax Credit was a giant piece of the financial puzzle for us. At the time, we figured our adoption would easily be finalized in time to take advantage of the credit. Then the “slowdown” came in Ethiopian adoptions. Then we heard that that tax credit was due to be “sunset” at the end of 2012. Wow…not good news. This meant that the $13,000 we were counting on to reimburse some of the debt we were taking on for this process was probably not an option anymore. A very big deal for us…and thousands more families.

For many years, the Adoption Tax Credit has helped 100,000 families annually to offset the costs of adoption, both domestically and internationally. It has made the difference for countless families to provide homes to foster children and the world’s many, many orphans.

On the fence for political reasons? I hear you. I am proud to be Give1's “token liberal” (a term I’ve given to myself), and I’m not a big fan of tax breaks when our country is at war or is facing such an immense deficit. But without this tax credit, fewer (probably dramatically fewer) families will be able to afford adoption. Fewer adoptions mean more children in “the system” (a vast majority of the people adopting in the US adopt domestically). More kids in foster care means more tax dollars needed to support that system of care. Whether we devote tax dollars directly to foster care or through the adoption tax credit, orphans need resources. They need us.

As it currently stands, the Adoption Tax Credit has a 1 percent chance of passing as legislation. So what can you do about it? Give us 5 minutes and call your Representative today and urge that he or she co-sponsor the bipartisan bill H.R. 4373, the Making Adoption Affordable Act.

{Information provided by an agency.} 

You can reach your Representative in the U.S. House of Representatives by calling the U.S. Capitol Operator at 202-225-3121 and asking for your Representative's office. If you don't know your Representative's name, go to http://www.house.gov/representatives/find/ and enter your zip code in the box provided.

Here is the message we would ask that you give to your Representative:

•                I am a constituent in your district and the adoption tax credit is important to me. (It matters to me because...)

•                I urge the Representative to become a co-sponsor of The Making Adoption Affordable Act, H.R. 4373.

•                If Congress does not act, the credit as we now know it will expire in December, 2012.

•                H.R. 4373 is bipartisan and it supports all types of adoptions (domestic private, foster care, and international adoptions).

•                This tax credit has made adoption a more viable option for many parents who might not otherwise have been able to afford adoption, allowing them to provide children with loving, permanent families.

•                Thank you for your support of H.R. 4373.

Finally, help us spread the word about this important issue. If you want to learn more about the adoption tax credit, go to http://adoptiontaxcredit.org/.  Also, "like" the Save the Adoption Tax Credit on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/AdoptionTaxCredit.

Quilting My Way (to Ethiopia)

I knew this wait would be hard. (That could be a post on its own, but we've all read those posts, and they're not fun.) To distract myself, I have devised a little plan...I'm going to quilt my way through it.

If you knew me, this would be hilarious to you. Until two months ago, I was looking up YouTube tutorials to figure out how to thread my sewing machine. Seriously. And my sewing machine? I bought it for $50 on Black Friday, because I rationalized that making a twin quilt for the baby's room (you know, which she probably won't need until she has a big kid bed) would be cheaper than buying a quilt from Pottery Barn or even Target. And it turns out I was right. But I didn't expect to LOVE this little hobby as much as I do!

So my first project: a madras plaid quilt for my son. The fabric I found for the top of the quilt (from JoAnn Fabrics) was already "pieced" together--perfect for my first project. I simply quilted together the front, middle, and back and tried my first binding. The end result...not too shabby (if you can look past the laughable embroidery).

Next up, I started part 1 of a 2-part project for baby girl. I put together a very simple pattern that allowed me to maximize fabric. For about $65 in fabric, I have enough to make a baby blanket (about 44" x 48") and a twin quilt. The twin quilt will be the same fabric and pattern as the baby blanket. I'm planning to bring the baby quilt to her in Ethiopia, and then when she gets home, she'll recognize the twin quilt in her room. (Again, super plan if she's old enough for a big bed.)

Given that we're #18 on the wait list (and things have been moving quite slowly on that list), I realized I have a long time until I need to make the twin quilt. So I started a different project. I made a chevron quilt for a friend of mine who commented on a similar quilt I pinned on Pinterest. (Pinterest is always getting me into trouble.) 

I made two of these chevron quilts...both of them were for adopting mama friends of mine, which was so fun. Next up: I'm making a quilt for a charity benefit as a silent auction item. And I think I'm going to give applique a try. 

My point? I have a few: 

1) If you want to learn to sew, DO IT. You CAN. I swear, YouTube videos will teach you everything, from cutting to binding. (Jenny from Missouri Star Quilt Company is like a celebrity to me now.) 

2) Quilting is a GREAT way to pass the time. I had no idea how many steps were involved, but it's so great to finish a quilt and realize, "I MADE that! Check me out, Pinterest Super Moms!" 

3) It is crazy fun to surprise friends with quilts or anything they can't buy for themselves. 

4) Quilting--or any hobby that you can associate with your child--is a great way to reign in control-freak tendencies. I can't do much to get closer to her. But I love to think that every stitch is somehow bringing me closer to my girl. 

Maybe someday soon I'll post the patterns. They're great for beginners.

A Year After the Storm

A year ago, a wickedly devastating tornado whipped through Joplin, MO. We live a couple hours away from Joplin, and after watching coverage of the damage for a few days after the storm, my husband and I couldn't sit in our roofed house any longer...we headed to Joplin to help.

Sounds awesome, right? Like, "we're here, we're volunteers, get used to it." Give us a wristband and throw us where you need us most. We can handle it. We're gonna pull survivors from rubble. We're going to change people's lives, one downed tree at a time. Face mask? Nah. We're self-sufficient. We're tough. We're here to HELP.

Not exactly.

We arrived at the community college where the Red Cross was registering volunteers. Or maybe it was FEMA. Anyway, there were BUSES of people arriving. People with way more equipment than the gloves and lunch bags we had. (You know, because we didn't want to be a burden.) We were given face masks and water and taken to what used to be the high school.

Devastating.
Oh. My. Gosh.
Gone.
Nothing was more than 10 feet high....for as far as we could see...in the middle of town.
Dirt, wood scraps, carpet pieces, torn clothes, broken glass...everywhere.
Everything looked the same, like it had been an abandoned war-torn city a few decades ago.
And everything smelled old and wet.
But hey, we were there to help. Put us to work.

We walked around and saw spray painted crosses and numbers on every house. They were codes for rescue workers - the real rescue workers, not us handy volunteers. And those workers had already been through the neighborhoods. Our job was to clear debris. So we headed to the worst houses. Of course, right? Nope, said our Americorps guide. Those houses would be flattened. So we went to houses that would be saved. An enormous tree through the roof? No problem. And we cleared what we could, one skinny branch at a time.

I held it together for most of the day. But then I was helping clear debris from an apartment. The roof was completely gone, and the contents inside looked tossed about. The front wall of the house was half-down. And a woman, the resident, sat on her front steps waiting for her family to come. And she just looked helpless…hopeless. I did what I could to make her front lawn look less sad…and then I broke down. This woman had nothing left. She needed real help. And here I was, creating a pile of junk in her front yard.

ALL this to say, I never want to forget how lucky I felt that day. And I never want to forget how helpless I felt that day. I didn't save anyone. I didn't change the world with the dirt I got on my face, arms, and hair. I was no hero in Joplin...I was exhausted. BUT. I did something. And I can never regret that. It wasn't big. But I did exactly what I hope others would do if I were sitting in my roofless, wall-less house.

Often I wonder how, in the world of adoption, I'm "being the change" and helping even one child have a family when there is a WAIT LIST for these kids. But then I realize, if I left the "line", that's eventually one child who doesn't have love. The need for adoptive parents isn't a static, one-time-only thing. It's constant. And that line has to constantly be there for the children who will forever need those parents.

No, I’m not Brangelina. And I’m no Mother Theresa or Gandhi or Muhammed Yunus. But I am doing what I hope others would do if I was an orphan. Be there. Show up. Get in line. You may feel much smaller, and more helpless, than you initially imagined when you signed up for this journey. But you’re doing something you won’t regret.

Here are pictures of Joplin before and after the tornado.

(I also posted this article on Give1Save1.com.)

I Won't Give Up

So I work from home. (Trust me, it's not as cushy as people think.) And when I'm working, I often turn the TV to Music Choice channels, because I cannot work in complete silence. There's a Jason Mraz song that comes on nearly every four hours, and every time it does, I pause what I'm doing. It's not a song about adoption, per se, but it sure does make me think of it.

So Cute

So this adoption video is from a sweet, lovely woman who works at my son's school. She's truly one of the nicest people I've ever met. And when we discovered that we're both adopting (!)...we couldn't stop chatting. She and her husband are waiting to be matched with a child domestically. The process is quite different than international adoption, where a match is pretty orchestrated and predictable. So please, check out this adorable video and share it. (Their video was "inspired" by ours, which I think is just fantastic! Of course, she did a MUCH better job than I did putting it together.)